Psalm 63:2-3, “I have seen You in the sanctuary and beheld Your power and Your glory. Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You.”
On December 17, 2010, I woke up singing a song from Rita Springer: Oh How You Love Me. Those lyrics set the tenor of that morning. God loves me! Reading a devotional by Kenneth and Gloria Copeland, In Pursuit of His Presence, a scripture drew my attention, Luke 4:14-21 which contains a quote from Isaiah 61:1-2, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor…”
The devotion itself read: “A covenant of grace. That’s what you and I have with Almighty God. If you could truly grasp the significance of that, you’d never be the same again. What exactly is a covenant of grace? It’s a relationship of favor that gives you access to someone else's power…God’s willingness to enter into blood covenant with you and give you everything He has in exchange for everything you have...The great Jehovah, God of Heaven and earth, is your Father God. Can you understand that? If you’re under the blood of Jesus, you’ve been made a covenant child of the most powerful Being in the universe. Dare to take your place in the family!”
The devotion itself read: “A covenant of grace. That’s what you and I have with Almighty God. If you could truly grasp the significance of that, you’d never be the same again. What exactly is a covenant of grace? It’s a relationship of favor that gives you access to someone else's power…God’s willingness to enter into blood covenant with you and give you everything He has in exchange for everything you have...The great Jehovah, God of Heaven and earth, is your Father God. Can you understand that? If you’re under the blood of Jesus, you’ve been made a covenant child of the most powerful Being in the universe. Dare to take your place in the family!”
Setting the book aside, I mulled over what I had read. Just then I saw a hand extended out to me. Never having had anything like this happen before I was startled at first, but then curious, wondering where this hand led. I reached out for the hand. My eyes traced the hand to a young man who appeared to be in his 20’s or 30’s, with chestnut brown hair and dressed entirely in brown. He lifted my hand like a man would escort a lady into a great ball or banquet and proceeded to walk ahead.
I looked up and before me stood a massive mountain radiating a vivid bright light. The foundation and summit of the mountain were barely visible through the brilliant glow. Before the mountain was a great expanse that appeared like a sea of glass. I was surprised, as I had never imagined Heaven or the Throne Room this way. It reminded me somewhat of the frozen lake in the movie The Polar Express. I saw nothing on the great expanse except people walking around in the distance. One woman passed who was being escorted by people in brown as well. Her face beamed with a wide grin. She spoke to me, “You’re going to love it here! You’ve never experienced anything like it!” I looked over my shoulder and watched her walk away.
A sound shook the air, “WOOSH”, and caused my knees to buckle. The only thing I could equate it with was the sound of the wings of the Ring Wraiths in the movie Lord of the Rings times 1000! When I looked up I saw the tips of two massive wings flapping and a huge angelic being lifting off the top of the mountain. At first the being was enveloped in the light. When it lifted off it became more visible. It was white and so bright that I could barely make out its features. It turned facing forward and leaned to its right and was gone, as quickly as that. He was massive – about half the size of the mountain itself and very formidable.
The man escorting me came around behind me and lifted me up into the light of the mountain. I saw two massive arms of light come down from the mountain and pick me up like a small child and lift me into the air. He held me close to His chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around His neck. I was sobbing uncontrollably at this point and looking around with confusion and uncertainty. I couldn’t see His face, but I could feel His cheek as I rested my face on His. He began to rub and pat my back like a parent would their frightened child in an attempt to calm them. He said to me, “I am all that you need. You can come here anytime you like.” By now I realized this must be God the Father. Although I felt uncertain of my surroundings, with Him I felt so safe, so loved, so secure, absolutely certain that He would allow nothing and no one to harm me.
Considering what He had said, I asked Him, “What if I can’t find my way back?” as I couldn’t figure out how I had arrived here in the first place. He said, “I will lead you…look for My extended hand.”
I thought that if indeed I was in the presence of God and He is all that I need, than it would be important to avail myself of the opportunity. Immediately I began to ask Him to touch all of my family, friends, the Body of Christ, thinking that if they could only experience Him like this and know His love fully that their lives would come into perspective and order. I asked Him for things that I pray everyday in intercession. I recited promises I had been declaring and believing for and healings and miracles for those in need. The Lord brought before me images of my brother Mike and his son Eric as small boys growing up before Him. They were asking question after question like kids will do, and were so curious and inquisitive. The Lord said, “I love that about them!” I felt His love for them so profoundly and sensed that He had created them that way. That that particular aspect of their character was a reflection of their Heavenly Father, their Creator God.
Feeling encouraged to ask more questions, I inquired, "Who was that?" pointing over to the direction where I had seen the large angel. He said, “His name is Gabriel.” I then asked Him if I would ever be able to come here without crying, as I couldn’t seem to stop. He didn’t respond, but I sensed He wanted to laugh and say, “Probably not!”
I did not feel the heaviness of my flesh, the war between soul and spirit we experience while on the earth. Everything seemed so clear, unhindered, without resistance. I asked Him how I could be there with Him and sitting on my couch in my office at the same time. He said, “You are here by your spirit.” When I asked who all of the other people were He said, “They are here just like you, by the spirit.” It all made sense. I was with the Lord, literally, in the spirit and it was possible to abide with Him there. In fact, He desired for me to abide with Him there. When we are with Him in the spirit, our flesh does not tag along. Therefore, we are in a place of power and protection, above the circumstances of our lives. I asked Him if this was all real or if I was imagining it. He said, “I am as real as you are.” I laughed at his notion, as I had never felt more real than I did in that moment.
I looked up and before me stood a massive mountain radiating a vivid bright light. The foundation and summit of the mountain were barely visible through the brilliant glow. Before the mountain was a great expanse that appeared like a sea of glass. I was surprised, as I had never imagined Heaven or the Throne Room this way. It reminded me somewhat of the frozen lake in the movie The Polar Express. I saw nothing on the great expanse except people walking around in the distance. One woman passed who was being escorted by people in brown as well. Her face beamed with a wide grin. She spoke to me, “You’re going to love it here! You’ve never experienced anything like it!” I looked over my shoulder and watched her walk away.
A sound shook the air, “WOOSH”, and caused my knees to buckle. The only thing I could equate it with was the sound of the wings of the Ring Wraiths in the movie Lord of the Rings times 1000! When I looked up I saw the tips of two massive wings flapping and a huge angelic being lifting off the top of the mountain. At first the being was enveloped in the light. When it lifted off it became more visible. It was white and so bright that I could barely make out its features. It turned facing forward and leaned to its right and was gone, as quickly as that. He was massive – about half the size of the mountain itself and very formidable.
The man escorting me came around behind me and lifted me up into the light of the mountain. I saw two massive arms of light come down from the mountain and pick me up like a small child and lift me into the air. He held me close to His chest. I wrapped my arms tightly around His neck. I was sobbing uncontrollably at this point and looking around with confusion and uncertainty. I couldn’t see His face, but I could feel His cheek as I rested my face on His. He began to rub and pat my back like a parent would their frightened child in an attempt to calm them. He said to me, “I am all that you need. You can come here anytime you like.” By now I realized this must be God the Father. Although I felt uncertain of my surroundings, with Him I felt so safe, so loved, so secure, absolutely certain that He would allow nothing and no one to harm me.
Considering what He had said, I asked Him, “What if I can’t find my way back?” as I couldn’t figure out how I had arrived here in the first place. He said, “I will lead you…look for My extended hand.”
I thought that if indeed I was in the presence of God and He is all that I need, than it would be important to avail myself of the opportunity. Immediately I began to ask Him to touch all of my family, friends, the Body of Christ, thinking that if they could only experience Him like this and know His love fully that their lives would come into perspective and order. I asked Him for things that I pray everyday in intercession. I recited promises I had been declaring and believing for and healings and miracles for those in need. The Lord brought before me images of my brother Mike and his son Eric as small boys growing up before Him. They were asking question after question like kids will do, and were so curious and inquisitive. The Lord said, “I love that about them!” I felt His love for them so profoundly and sensed that He had created them that way. That that particular aspect of their character was a reflection of their Heavenly Father, their Creator God.
Feeling encouraged to ask more questions, I inquired, "Who was that?" pointing over to the direction where I had seen the large angel. He said, “His name is Gabriel.” I then asked Him if I would ever be able to come here without crying, as I couldn’t seem to stop. He didn’t respond, but I sensed He wanted to laugh and say, “Probably not!”
I did not feel the heaviness of my flesh, the war between soul and spirit we experience while on the earth. Everything seemed so clear, unhindered, without resistance. I asked Him how I could be there with Him and sitting on my couch in my office at the same time. He said, “You are here by your spirit.” When I asked who all of the other people were He said, “They are here just like you, by the spirit.” It all made sense. I was with the Lord, literally, in the spirit and it was possible to abide with Him there. In fact, He desired for me to abide with Him there. When we are with Him in the spirit, our flesh does not tag along. Therefore, we are in a place of power and protection, above the circumstances of our lives. I asked Him if this was all real or if I was imagining it. He said, “I am as real as you are.” I laughed at his notion, as I had never felt more real than I did in that moment.
He drew my attention back to Luke 4:14-21, which references Isaiah 61:1-2. Jesus said, “Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.” This scripture is Jesus' mission and message. Good news, freedom, recovery, healing, release from oppression, the Lord’s favor. How often I had felt the opposite…judged, criticized, condemned - as though He was so hard to please and I was a perpetual failure. But, in fact, He loves me! I am His child! He is my Daddy! Jesus came to bring me to His Father and the Father longs to be with me. The Lord said that this is Jesus’ message and mission and it is mine as well - all other agendas must bow to this one. The Good News that the Father's heart is good, kind, loving, and generous; that one touch from Him transforms and changes the human condition and perspective; that no one is exempt from His love. We are living in the time of the Lord’s favor. A window that will soon close when all is brought to resolution. “Tell them!” He urged me. "Tell them!"
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I pondered the encounter in heaven over the next couple of days, keeping it pretty quiet, sharing it only with my husband, Kirk, my mother, Colleen, and one close friend, Paul Firnhaber. Maybe I feared people would think I had gone off my nut. I wondered if I hadn't. Yet I felt a new found peace. An overwhelming awareness of the Father's love for me. Fear had plagued me through most of my life, particularly the fear of the devil and death. But the experience in the Throne Room washed it all away.
On December 22, 2010, my pastor's wife, Karen Ellis, handed me a book she was reading by Anna Rountree, Heaven Awaits the Bride. I opened the book and thumbed through stopping on a page that read: “The floor of the throne room looks like a ‘sea of glass,’ clear as crystal (Rev. 4:6; 1:22, 26; Exod. 24:10). The angels and the redeemed there may stand or move about on this great expanse created of light from the Father (Rev. 15:2).” My heart leaped! A fellow traveler!
My pastor asked me if I have traveled back since. I wasn't sure how to answer, because I'm not quite sure if I have ever left. Anna Rountree made the comment in a radio interview with Sid Roth that we live above and commute to earth. The revelation is taking hold of me. A whole new venue of exploration has opened up...the profound heights and depths and lengths and breadths of God's love. An insatiable longing for Him, for His home...my home, and a renewed sense that time is evaporating before me while many still stand in the valley of decision between heaven and hell.
